I thought that I would do a different type of post today - something that I've been thinking about lately. Our circumstances of late have put us in a bit of limbo. I've been worrying about a lot of things that have been and/or will be happening lately and wondering how things will work out. As I've been pondering on these things the scripture Ether 12:6 has been popping up everywhere. The scripture says:
"And now I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; for I would show the world that faith is things hoped for and not seen. Wherefore dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."
I think the Lord is trying to tell me something. So, what I've decided to do is write down all of our dilemmas that are going on right now and hopefully soon, I'll be able to report back on how the Lord has followed through with His promise to take care of us. He always makes things work out and here is another way he is going to manifest miracles in our lives.
Here's the first dilemma: Our Van / Children
A couple of weeks ago the radiator went out on our van. It cost quite a bit of money, but the Lord provided a way for us to pay for it. We were paid to watch the son of one of Ben's professors (the son has cerebral palsy). It turned out that the amount he paid us gave us just enough to pay to fix the van and pay tithing. However it brought more closely to the fronts of our minds that our van is on its last hurrah. It won't be very long until it doesn't work anymore. Very soon (hopefully not for a few years) we will need to buy a new family vehicle. The problem is that we think we're supposed to have one more child. Having another child is not the problem, but finding a vehicle large enough to hold our whole family is the problem. It bumps us up to a more expensive car/van bracket and I have to be honest - I have no idea where that's going to come from. But, Heavenly Father knows what we need even before we do, so I'm sure he has something worked out and I'll be interested to know what it is.
Okay, so here's what's happened: We ended up deciding not to buy another vehicle for the time being. What we did end up doing is buying another 3rd row bench seat for our van (which seats 3) and putting it where the 2nd row seat goes. Now our car seats 8 passengers! Ben is an absolute genius! He went to a junk yard and bought the seat for $34 and it matches our car perfectly. Also, with the configuration that he used we have a lot more trunk room. Now, if our car can keep from breaking down for the next few years, we should be set! (6/14/2012)
2nd Dilemma: Employment
We've been so blessed this past year that Ben has been employed temporarily by the university. It has paid enough to allow us to pay for the baby and pay down his student loans. It appears as though he may have employment through this next December. If we use our finances wisely, we may be able to pay down almost half of our student loans which would allow us to actually take a job and survive. The problem is that Ben really does need to find a job in the design field soon so that we can move on with our lives and actually put down some roots. The thing is that we really love Auburn, Ben is a great teacher, and everything is wonderful here - but we feel like there's somewhere we need to be. Is this a case of me just wanting to get on with things and move to the next stage? Are we missing opportunities because we're not looking hard enough or is Heavenly Father still orchestrating things for our next stage and we're here until it's ready? I don't know if our still being here is our lack of initiative on our part or our need to learn how to wait on the Lord.
Update: Ben has just been offered a contract to teach for the next year at Auburn and it will include benefits. It would allow our kids to finish up the school year and give us a little more time to hopefully pay off some school debt. The University was going to hire someone, but that person didn't accept the job so they offered Ben a temp position. (06/14/2012)
3rd Dilemma: Paying for New Baby
This one's kind of interesting. We are technically on Medicaid because it's renewed every April, however, I haven't been using it since Ben's been working at the University because I didn't think our income qualified us. I tried to find out how to alert Medicaid of our new income, but I couldn't find any instructions on what to do so I just stopped using it. Anyway, last week I tried to get our kids signed up for a state supplemented insurance that would allow them to be insured for a smaller fee (than private insurance). They rejected us because they said we were already on Medicaid. I called them and told them we no longer qualified and they told us to contact Medicaid. When I contacted Medicaid they said it didn't matter that our income changed, we were still covered until the end of May.
Here's the deal though - I've already paid for the doctor's office/delivery, but now I may be eligible for Medicaid so I may be reimbursed for what I paid. I've been calling ALL over the place trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do. It would be so wonderful if Medicaid would do this, but I have to jump through so many hoops. Also, if I still do qualify, doesn't it totally bite that I'm due to have this child 2 weeks after it expires? As it is, if we pay for everything with the baby, it will cost us a minimum of $5,500. If Medicaid will cover my prenatal visits then it could potentially only be $4,500. However, if the baby had been due before May 31st it would cost us nothing! That's $5,500 that could have gone towards student loans.
We were perfectly content to pay for this baby, but now it's like a carrot is being dangled in front of us showing us what we could have had. So frustrating! However, I have to trust in God. If it was this important for us to have this money to go towards student loans, then he would have made it so that I wouldn't have had the miscarriage. If that had been the case, the whole pregnancy and birth would have been covered because I would have been due in March. I have to believe Heavenly Father has some miracle up His sleeve. It will be fascinating to see what the purpose of all of this is.
Update: So, it turned out that I wasn't eligible for Medicaid at all because of when I got pregnant. But that's okay because at least we had the financial ability to pay for the birth and I feel incredibly blessed for that. Also, we were able to get the kids on some insurance that is very inexpensive through the state and it started on June 1st. (06/14/2012)
It all comes back to Ether 12:6. I have faith that Heavenly Father has a purpose for all of this and I'll be happy to look back on this and see what kind of miracles He's got just beyond our vision.
